The Power Of Mortality™ Blog

During my presentation this week to the International Coach Federation’s Virtual Community, I spoke about an article I had written called “How To Have A Stroke”. Many people expressed interest in the article, so I thought I’d re-post it here.

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In my book, “What’s Your Expiry Date?“, I wrote that my goal was to help people understand the Power of Mortality™ without the need for them to undergo a traumatic event. On October 10, 2006, twelve years after discovering the Power of Mortality™, I suffered a stroke.

Technically, it was a Transient Ischemic Attack or TIA. As I lay in the hospital for a week following the event, I realized that, thanks to the Power of Mortality™, there was nothing - not one thing - in my life that I needed to change! How many people could say that when faced with their own death?

Thankfully, I made a full recovery from the TIA and suffered no deficits or after effects. When I first wrote about this in my newsletter, one of my subscribers suggested that TIA could also stand for “Teaching In Action”. I really liked that idea! So, in the spirit of using acronyms, I would like to present a short lesson on “How to have a STROKE“

S - STOP!
You can do it. You can take some time for yourself. Let the rest of the world take care of itself for a while. You owe yourself this time. Besides, if you don’t stop once in a while, life has a habit of stopping you.

T - Take stock of your life. Who have you become? Who did you intend to be? How do you feel about that? Be honest with yourself.

R - Realize that you are not owed any specific amount of time on this earth. Likewise, you need to realize that your loved ones are not guaranteed any specific amount of time.

O - Open yourself up and listen. You’re listening for the small voice inside of you. It may take a few minutes or it may take a few days, but you will hear it. This voice comes from your heart of hearts - listen to what it has to say about your life. The process of tapping into the Power of Mortality™ isn’t something you can “think” your way through. It must be felt at the core of your being. The problem is that most of us are very out of touch with the core of our being because we are too busy letting life live us. We never intend for it to happen that way - it just does.

K - Keep in mind the principles of the Mortality Manifesto. Commit to aligning your life with your dreams. Commit to paying attention to your thoughts, words and actions. Realize that everything in your life happens because of your thoughts, words and actions and it is up to you to ensure that these three things are moving you in the direction of your dreams. Free yourself from fear and regret by keeping your focus on the present moment.

E - Embrace your life by embracing your mortality. EVERYDAY!

Let me finish by saying that I sincerely hope that this is the only STROKE that you ever have to experience. However, if you approach this exercise with a sincere heart and actually work though the process I know that you’ll be ready for whatever life brings your way in the future.

ENJOY NOW!

The Power of Mortality™ is not about death. It’s about life! Accepting your mortality isn’t about giving in to death - it is about truly living your life on purpose.

Today, I want to discuss the first, and most difficult step in using the Power of Mortality: accepting your own mortality. Not the idea of your mortality - but rather the fact that you are mortal. On one level, we all know that we are mortal and will one day die. But I’m not talking about accepting it at the intellectual level - I’m talking about accepting it at the deep down, gut level. The same level that I felt when I was told my expiry date. The same level that has been felt by anyone who has ever had a police officer knock at their door at 3AM, or had a doctor show them a strange spot on an x-ray. THAT level.

In my workshops and keynote presentations, I often get a great deal of resistance from people about this particular step in the process. They squirm uncomfortably in their seats, look at the floor and wait for me to move on to the next point. But without accepting and even embracing your mortality, all of the other steps that I will outline in the next few posts are simply handy goal-setting exercises. The true power comes from your willingness to face the thing that we fear most.

In my presentations I always tell people that they have a choice. They can face death on their terms, or on its terms. If you wait for death to come to you, then you will face it from a position of powerlessness. After all, it is hard to make changes in your life when you are at the end of your life. On the other hand, if you take the initiative and face death now, you can do so from a position of immense power - the power to make meaningful changes in your life!

As I said at the beginning, this is the first and most difficult step in the process. So it will take some time. Just to help you along, consider the following:

The August 2006 issue of National Geographic has a very interesting article on the topic of death. Based on 2003 data from the US National Safety Council, here are the lifetime probabilities of a U.S. resident dying from various causes.

Heart Disease - 1 in 5
Cancer - 1 in 7
Stroke - 1 in 24
Motor vehicle accident - 1 in 84
Suicide - 1 in 119
Falling - 1 in 218
Firearm assault - 1 in 314
Pedestrian accident - 1 in 626
Drowning - 1 in 1,008
Motorcycle accident - 1 in 1,020
Fire or smoke - 1 in 1,113
Bicycling accident - 4,919
Air/Space accident - 1 in 5,051
Accidental firearm discharge - 1 in 5,134
Accidental electrocution - 1 in 9,969
Alcohol poisioning - 1 in 10,048
Hot weather - 1 in 13,729
Hornet, wasp or bee sting - 1 in 56,789
Legal execution - 1 in 62,468
Lightning - 1 in 79,746
Earthquake - 1 in 117,127
Flood - 1 in 144, 156
Fireworks discharge - 1 in 340,733

In my mind, the most interesting statistic of all is the one that is most often overlooked. Namely:

Total odds of dying - 1 in 1 (100%)

Earlier this week Steven D. Levitt, one of the co-authors of Freakonomics, posted a blog article titled: “If You Were A Terrorist, How Would You Attack?“. As you might imagine, this topic generated a tremendous amount of passionate responses. Later in the week, Levitt addressed some of these responses in a follow-up article titled: “Terrorism, Part II“. I was one of the people who commented on his follow-up (I’m #18) and I’d like to take a moment here to expand on my comments.

I feel that there is a link between Osama Bin Laden, bird flu and gang violence. I have done a number of radio interviews where I’ve discussed this point. In fact, the subject even came up during my hour on Oprah & Friends Radio. I maintain that all of these things have two things in common: FEAR and CONTROL. Inherently we fear anything we cannot control.

That’s why terrorism “works”. I don’t believe that terrorists use roadside bombs simply to kill people (there are far more efficient ways to do that). Terrorists use roadside bombs to instill uncertainty and fear. We fear the actions of terrorists precisely because: a) we can’t predict what they will do next; and b) we can’t control their actions - there is just no way to have a contingency for every possibility.

It’s the same with the threats of bird flu and gang violence - we can’t control them and we fear that we will be affected by them.

But at the root of it all, is our fear of death.

We can’t control the fact that we are going to die. There is nothing we can do to change the fact that one day our bodies will stop working. And for people in the Western world - that lack of control terrifies us. So we externalize the fear. We obsess about the things we feel we can control. For some it is their health. For others it is their safety. And increasingly for the USA, it is the idea of “national security”.

But how big is the threat of terrorism? In his second blog post, Levitt says: “The actual cost of … terrorism in terms of human lives is relatively small, compared to other causes of death like motor-vehicle crashes, heart attacks, homicide, and suicide. It is the fear that imposes the real cost.“

And that’s where the Power of Mortality™ comes in.

Once you’ve embraced your mortality and accepted the fact that you have a limited and uncertain amount of time on this earth - the fear melts away. After all - what are you going to fear if you no longer fear death? Oh - and as an added bonus, embracing your mortality allows you to live a life filled with vitality! I tell people that I can help them live lives that are “FEARLESS, FOCUSED and FREE FROM REGRETS”

Interested? Start with the Mortality Manifesto.

I am honored to have been asked to be a guest speaker for the International Coach Federation’s Virtual Community.

On August 13th, I will be presenting a program called “Getting to the Heart of the Matter”. It is designed to help coaching clients get to the heart of the matter by using the Power of Mortality™.

Over the years, I have spoken and written a lot about the idea of “Mindful Awareness”. I feel that it is a very powerful tool for maintaining the new perspective that comes with embracing the Power of Mortality™.

Now it’s your turn!

Tell us your thoughts on Mindful Awareness.

Share your secrets for staying mindful.

Do you have a favorite author(s) on the subject?

Do you have any rituals that help you stay mindful?

What about music that helps with mindfulness?